April 12, 2026

“Forgiving Others”

Matthew 18:21–35 (NIV)

21  Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  23  “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26  “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27  The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28  “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29  “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30  “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32  “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35  “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Mistaken Ideas about Forgiveness…

1. Time heals all wounds.

2. I must deny hurt when I forgive others.

3. True forgiveness means I must confess it.

We should ask for forgiveness when…

A. They are aware they have been wronged. Matt 5:23-24

B. God opens your heart to it.

4. Forgiveness and trust are the same things.

A. Forgiveness is given. Matt 18:21-22

B. Trust is earned.

John 2:24 (NIV)

24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. 

“This doesn’t mean you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every trace of resentment in your own heart--every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.” - C.S. Lewis

5. Forgive and forget.

Jeremiah 31:34 (NIV) “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Roadblocks to forgiveness…

1. Holding a grudge

2. Self-pity

3. Anger

4. Fear

5. Pride

6. Revenge

“Whoever opts for revenge should dig two graves.” - Chinese Proverb

7. Judgmental spirit

A. We judge others by their actions

B. We judge ourselves by our intentions

8. Unwillingness to forgive

9. Insecurity

10. Alibis

Road Back to Forgiveness…

1. Realize what God has done for you.

“Our pockets are empty while our debt is millions. We don’t need a salary; we need a gift! We don’t need swimming lessons; we need a lifeguard! We don’t need a place to work; we need someone to work in our place! AND THAT SOMEONE IS JESUS CHRIST!”

2. Realize that forgiveness is a choice not an emotion. (a faith decision)

3. Understand the consequences.

“. . .not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies

4. Forgiveness is an immediate thing.

5. View others as a tool for growth.

Life Group Notes:

• Read Matthew 18:23–35 and pick one person to retell the parable in their own words. As a group, add anything that they might have missed.

• Read the “5 mistaken ideas about forgiveness”. Is there one that sticks out, troubles you or you don’t understand? Is there one you would add or take away?

• What are some ways insecurity can impact our relationships and our ability to forgive?

• Why do people sometimes create alibis or excuses instead of facing the need to forgive?

• What does it mean to “realize what God has done for you”, and how might this understanding influence your view of forgiveness?

• How does viewing forgiveness as a choice, rather than an emotion, change the way we approach it?

• What are some of the consequences you’ve experienced or observed when someone refuses to forgive?

• Reflect on the quote: “. . .not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” In your own words, what does this mean?

• Why do you think forgiveness is described as “an immediate thing”? Do you agree or disagree?

• How can viewing others as tools for growth help us on the road back to forgiveness?